July 24, 1950

     Dear Mr. Hubbard,

     Here is a question about an apparently recovered case of post-traumatic epilepsy. The case is myself – male, white, 24.

     Since you did not mention the possible complications of brain scars or the extent to which they might require professional treatment, I feel compelled to broach the question. During the attacks, which lasted from June of 1938 to June of 1940, I must have acquired a fine mess of engrams, as many of the attacks were in public.

     The attacks occurred about every three weeks, at one time reaching 75 days (I always counted) and near the end the intervals were only about seven to ten days. On June 21, 1940 I had seventeen attacks and on July 1, I went to Mayo’s, still ignorant of the trouble. It was diagnosed as a “scar on the brain.” Phenobarbital and Dilantin were prescribed. Since then I have had no attacks, though I have been frightened by apparent returns of the “aura,” which was always particularly vivid, mystic and long-drawn-out. For instance, something in the coda of the first movement of the Beethoven Ninth once triggered an aura in me, though I became interested in music two years after the last attack. I have almost ceased to use either drug, but have noticed no connection between non-use and return of the aura.

     None of my personality troubles can be traced to any physical derangement at the moment, but I am rather afraid that any attempts at Dianetics treatment may cause a return to some of the moments of the attacks. As a matter of fact, there is a faint possibility that the (I hope) pseudo-auras may be caused by engramic factors.

     Now, is it safe, unsafe or have you thought about the subject. Should I get a doctor to perform the therapy, which I so badly need that I cannot hold a job, or should I just go along? Here I am, expecting for my wife to have a baby in a little over two months and no job. At times I am a pretty good writer, but not good enough to finish a story satisfactorily, though pretty good on short poems and articles about music. I am supposed to be a walking encyclopedia, but my memories and usefulness are no good to me to make money.

     These are personality troubles, probably curable, but I simply wanted to show you that I am not a case in which the epilepsy has begun to deteriorate the mind (another I hope).

     Incidentally, I met a boy who said that he remembered that I was hit on the head with a baseball bat a few weeks before the attacks started, so there will probably be no prenatal worry about that particular trauma. Also, the first time that I heard it called epilepsy was when I was examined for military service. Then the examining doctor grandly wrote it out. All of the doctors around had been so apathetic on the subject that when I came back from Mayo’s, we sent reports on my progress back to Doctor McNiell by way of a friend who went every year. That was the reason why the ugly word had never come up before.

     Maybe this will rate a personal reply, as I have seen no group answer in ASF and have read your book through twice.



      Thank You

      John Daves
      Roberts

      Box 84

      Choccolocco,
      Alabama